What is this fantastic phantom? Balance? What we all continually strive for and aspire to. Balance within and balance without. At what point does our seemingly uncontrollable life stop its relentless to and fro and sit poised in perfect equilibrium?
Does it have anything to do with filling shoes never meant for us? Or ticking boxes that in actuality were never important to us? Could it have anything to do with choices made, not necessarily in line with what we wanted but rather with what was expected of us?
I have often wondered what is that precise moment at which we decide to stop listening to our own voice and start listening to the voices around us. At what point do we relinquish our actual self for another supposedly better version? More importantly, what happens to this discarded self? Does it morph into our new socially validated identity or does it perhaps, follow us around, a voiceless two dimensional shadow, attached to us yet no longer connected to us.
And what is this magical connection that we are all either waiting to experience or in whose wake we are holding a life long vigil? This elusive connection where we will find all at once, the love of our life, deeper meaning and higher purpose. Is it, too, a lucky circumstance, just beyond our control? An event, in whose anticipation we can overlook our entire life? Or a memory of which can render us incapable of ever making peace with our present?
Perhaps the answer lies in going back in time to the point when we chose to stop listening to ourself and broke the only connection of any worth. To ourself. To the voice that gives us meaning, purpose, our uniqueness. How can we find balance without first finding our centre?
Someone very wise once said to me that we are our first child. So let’s never forget that child. Let’s honour his or her dreams and hopes. Let’s love them for their fears and weaknesses. Let’s rejoice in their individuality no matter how socially unattractive it may be deemed.
Let’s leave perfection where it belongs, with God. Let’s learn to embrace our fallibilities. Only in the absence of judgement can any true connection be made. For if there is one thing we all share, the one thing that binds us beyond measure, the one thing that is at the core of us all, is the simple fact that we are all human.