These last four months in isolation have brought up a lot. Whether we are aware of it or not, much is surfacing for us all. As I consider our shared experience of life post covid, I realise that this virus has brought us to an abrupt halt, shaken us to the core and left us feeling barely able to understand it, let alone equipped to navigate it effectively. I think it’s safe to say that we are in deep waters indeed, clinging to the bits and pieces of our old life. It’s hard to imagine what the future will look like once this comes to an end. I know there are parts of the old life that we all long to get back to; feeling safe, feeling free to interact with others, to travel but I wonder if other aspects will have the same hold on us.
I have been going through my own personal metamorphosis for some years now. What I came to understand intellectually is now sinking into full assimilation in my body. I am feeling the fragility of what it means to be human, realising at once how brief our life span is, as well as how little we have in our control. Coming face to face with the simplicity of what we need for a comfortable life, namely shelter and food, has lead to absolute clarity. All that we create after this point is our choice. A family, an empire, a solitary journey by ourself.
I believe there is a deep longing in us all for expansion, to be more than who we are. Are we getting lost in how we’re setting out to manifest this desire?
In the last few months I have experienced how powerless I am in controlling anything beyond myself; how vulnerable I feel as so much of what I had filled up my life with, is reaching resolution. Who am I, as the roles I have played, come to an end and how much of what I set out to do, have I actually accomplished? As I write this, I hear how daunting and downright uncomfortable this sounds and it has been, but there’s another side to this story, one that makes it well worth seeing it through. In the aftermath we find answers in the form of clarity, wisdom and strength. Nothing is as empowering as seeing something for what it is.
To those of you who are trying your best to stay afloat on a turbulent sea, you know what you need to do. It is difficult but stay with it anyway. Your surrender will lift you above your present limitations, to that place of boundlessness that you’ve been seeking your whole life.