The thing with experiencing spiritual transformation is that there are no specific markers to outline progress while it’s happening. The change is only apparent at the end and by the end I mean the end of a growth cycle. Everything in life is cyclical. Think of it as a continual evolution, a series of dissolvings and risings. I’m full of good news today.
If it’s any consolation, I am, at this time undergoing such a state myself. Although as a coach you learn to identify and create some distance from it, it’s never easy to navigate it while you’re in it. I am not speaking about a complete melt down here but rather about an aspect of your life that may no longer be working for you. Many times it’s about an ending; whether it’s the end of a relationship, the end of a job or the end of a routine that you’ve been engaged in for a large part of your life. As I’m writing this, it occurs to me that in my case, it’s all of the above. It never ceases to surprise and delight me how creating a space through my writing inevitably helps me see the bigger picture.
I am finding myself at the end of a twenty year period of being a ‘stay at home’ mum of two girls, the younger of the two having recently joined her sister in college. My days are no longer scheduled around pick up and drop offs, packed lunches, sports, music lessons and extra curricular activities. A very great degree of my mental energy is no longer consumed by their homework, exams, projects, assessments and applications, not to mention their social life, proms and graduations.
In hindsight, everything becomes 20/20. As this cycle comes to a close, it’s not just a day-to-day routine that is coming to an end, it’s the conclusion of a very important chapter of my life. A life created and devoted to the nurturing of two individuals. At its heart it is about my identification as a mother and coming to terms with aspects of this relationship that must be let go off so that it may evolve into its next phase.
Those closest to me know that of all the roles I have played, the one that has been the most meaningful to me, as well as the most loving and gratifying, is my role as a mother. And whereas it may seem from the outside that I have been at the giving end, I can say undeniably, that what I have received in return has been nothing less than an equal exchange, nothing short of a blessing.
Perhaps that’s why the days that open before me now, seem all the more empty. In the twilight of my brightest hour, who will I be?
And the answer comes to me like a new breath, ” The one that you were before all this.”
Best
Afshan x
Congratulations to the little one on joining college. Wishing her tonnes of success and hope she enjoys this new chapter in life thoroughly. And congratulations to you too for this milestone is as much a success of yours as is of the little one. Where would us kids even be without the support of you guys, our supermoms! Congratulations ❤️
Loved reading the write up. So relevant to all the moms. We are in the same boat. And congratulations to our choto to have started the university days. How time flies. Mashaa Allah! 💕
, ” The one that you were before all this.” makes me really think
This made me shed a tear and I am at work trying to act all serious. On a serious note, you are one of the best mothers I had encountered. You are loved and respected because you have devoted that time to cultivate which is not only precious but also the best thing in the world; to grow two beautiful humans and you have brought up the most intelligent wholesome beings who I pray prosper and live full happy lives, Ameen. Also you have been a leader of real courage and good values. Bless you. To this new phase of rediscovering and defining your already awesome self! Duas. Maha.
This brought tears to my eyes. You write about universal yet personal conditions in the most beautiful and insightful way. Thanks for helping me see the bigger picture 💖
Beautifully put.
I have a few years till I get there, reading this made me more sure of how much I want to cherish each day.
Thank you for bringing this to life with your words,
Lots of love xx
Congrats on the girls moving on to their new chapter in life .. one that brings its own challenges, a sense of freedom, excitement and boundless opportunity to seek knowledge. It is also a new chapter for a parent as there is truly no end to parenthood. What I enjoyed the most, and continue to do so, is switching gears from one that is focused on teaching (and perhaps discipline) and inculcating values/culture to one of an advisors and director as they move from freshman/freshwoman to seniors in their final year. It is an exciting time as they share their newly acquired knowledge and engage in interesting debate and discussion with you as parent – something I have always encouraged my kids (adults now!) and that in turn requires you as parent to have an open mind to listen (a rare skill in which regrettably most parent don’t possess) and engage and yourself adapt to change. Congrats again and look forward to the new and exciting world that the girls have entered. It is not an end but a new beginning. Cheers..
I have always looked up to you..especially how beautifully you’ve raised both your girls..from a time when I wasn’t even married or had a kid of my own. I’ve absolutely admired how you balanced being a friend and a mother to them. A mother’s role changes and evolves bit by bit as the kids grow older and become more independent…but they’re always your children and you’re always their mother..just in different ways. Sending lots of love, hugs and prayers your way for the new phases in your life ❤🤗